Un-reality TV
by C. Asaravala

What is the deal with all the automotive TV shows these days? It's nothing new for muscle cars to appear in TV shows. Most of us grew up admiring the Charger in Dukes of Hazzard or the Torino in Starsky and Hutch. But to have TV shows dedicated entirely to cars themselves is clearly a recent concept.

It used to be that the only TV shows based solely on automobiles were the new-car review shows, like MotorWeek and Car and Driver. These of course weren't about the "hobby" of building project cars but rather thirty minutes per week devoted to a magazine like review of new cars. Then about a decade ago we got some true wrenching shows, like Dave and Sam's Shadetree Mechanic. A couple of genuine mechanics doing brake jobs on real cars, and taking occasional time outs to plug some miracle additive from one of their sponsors. It was marginally informational Saturday morning TV, and heck, at least you knew those two were actually working on the cars between takes.

Then a few years ago we got Horsepower TV, or was it Hot Rod TV, I can't remember which came first but it was an attempt to modernize Sam and Dave... but now it's the big guy and his goofy sidekick who do nothing more than make puns and attempt to fool us into believing that you can build a motor in 30 minutes without using gaskets. Then they take their project car to the track and give each other high-fives when their 500 horsepower Hemi runs high 13's. Admittedly though, I did reserve a couple hours every Saturday morning to watch this show, and Trucks, while having my coffee.

Rapper "Xzibit" mixes drinks from a blender installed in the back of a VW bus on a recent episode of MTV's Pimp my Ride.

It's actually the influx of the so-called "reality" car shows in the past year that really bother me. I don't have the time to sit down in front of the TV and channel surf during prime time anymore. However it seems like whenever I do I see some ex-rapper installing flip down TV's in a Mustang. Or a shop full of guys miraculously turning a rusted out Chevelle into a one-off custom show car in a span of seven days, while carrying out some cheezy plot line about how the owners' beloved rust bucket has been stolen and all major law enforcement agencies are working diligently to catch the perps. I don't know about you but where I live the police don't exactly jump out of their chair like Roscoe P. Coltrain to crack the case of a stolen heap of 1970's iron.

If these shows are reality TV, they certainly aren't my reality and I don't think they are yours either. Unless of course you have had a manufacturer personally drop off a crate motor to your garage, help you install it, wait around for it to run flawlessly, all free of charge of course. No, reality would be a motor that doesn't fire up on the first try. Or the second. Or the third. In fact, reality would be a motor that needs to be torn down and re-done cus you dropped a nut down the distributor hole due to lack of sleep from your ill conceived idea to pull an all nighter in the garage. I'd like to see a reality show where a guy has one car which serves as his daily driver and project car. I'd like to see the guy attempt a head swap beginning Friday after work, only to realize on Sunday at 8pm that he ordered the wrong size pushrods. Or, better yet, let's say he get's the swap done but in his excitement to test drive the car he forgets to put the hood pins in.... (I'm not gonna give away what happens next in case one of the networks decides to pick this up.)

I'm not sure who the media mavens behind these shows believe they are appealing too. Are they trying to get people that weren't really into cars interested in owning and working on classic project cars? Are they trying

This guy is happy that a group of strangers turned his car into a show car without his input or involvement on TLC's Overhaulin'.

to revive and glamorize an age old hobby? If so, it's a noble idea, but come on isn't it a bit misleading to let a newbie think a $1000 car can be transformed into a $100,000 custom in a week? Most guys who have been in this hobby for a lifetime don't build cars that way, and would be pretty pissed of if somebody "Pimped their ride". I don't want a group of guys I don't know turning my car into someones idea of an ideal car that I had no say in, let alone hand in. The essence of this hobby is not about the finished product, but rather the vision of seeing what a car could be and the enjoying the long and arduous journey getting there. Without that bond slowly developing between owner and project there is nothing, you might as well go out and buy someone elses finished project.

I must admit however that not every show on TLC, Discovery, The History Channel, OLN, or TNN is without merit. There are occasional documentaries and episodes that do touch on topics of interest and give insight to things otherwise only presented in short bits in the print magazines. Several documentaries have aired recently on the design and building of Ford's GT40 and 2005 Mustang, both were very good programs. Of course they were documenting actual design and work that occurs in Dearborn, and not some ill contrived mad rush to install an aquarium and clothes drier in a car in seven days.

If this was our Challenger R/T, the coolness factor of the Foose job would be clouded by the anxiety that the one of the most collectible bodies in musclecars was possibly devalued by 50%.

In the end I guess we shouldn't take these shows too seriously, as they are just entertainment television. Our families don't resemble the Cosby show any more that our hobbies resemble what happens on Overhaulin'. So if it comes down to watching Will and Grace or Chip Foose put yet another set of 20's on a car, I'm picking the automotive show.