My dad has passed on...... :( :(

He died yesterday aftn. after being in the hospital since late October with pancreatic cancer.

He started getting some pain yesterday morning in his abdomen area. The doctor gave him a morphine patch for that area instead of putting the drugs into him..... it didn't really matter since the cancer was so far advanced there was really nothing they could've done for him. He didn't have any pain at all right up to when the pain started yesterday morning so in a good way at least he didn't suffer too much and died peacefully.

He had lost a lot of weight the last 10 days or so and only the last few days he was unable to get out of bed (usually when I visit him he's sitting in a chair nearby reading a paper my sister brings him everyday). Near the end he also wasn't eating and was having difficulty speaking. It got hard to understand him when he tried to talk.

After he left us I did something and even now I'm not sure if I made the right choice. I'll post the paragraph here from an email that I did earlier to a friend informing him of the news and my actions:

"I did one last thing before we left the hospital once the doctor came and did the death certificate. My dad wore a ring ever since I could remember (jade on one band with small diamonds on the other). Towards the end the ring didn’t even fit him anymore as there are large gaps between it and his finger. I really felt that it should be with him but there was no way 100% that I will know for sure that he would be buried with it. The thought of that ring ending up where it shouldn’t be didn’t sit well with me. I mentioned this to the older sister but she felt it would be ok, I didn’t think so. I took it upon myself to remove the ring from his finger and gave it to her and told her to hold onto it as a memory of him. I busted out in tears when I did this and repeatedly told him I was sorry for doing this and asked him for forgiveness. I feel that this decision will haunt me for a while and even now I wonder if I made a right choice....."

I'll be away for awhile as we make arrangements for the burial and services happening next week sometime. Sorry for the length and I will try to be back online ASAP. TIA for reading and your words of support.

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Sorry for your loss Cman. [img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_frown.gif[/img]

FWIW, he's no longer suffering and he's headed for a better place no doubt.

Good thoughts and prayers are with you and yours........
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Sorry to hear that man. I can't even begin to imagine the pain your feeling. Take care, and I wish you and your family nuthin but the best.
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I'm sorry to hear about your dad also....


Don't let your decision bother you. I'm sure your father loved you both very much. I'm sure leaving you something that he cared for very much would have brought him joy.

I hope my daughter makes the same decision when it's time. I dont need it. I hope she keeps it and remembers me fondly.

My grandfather passed away last year of cancer....My grandmother gave me 2 of his rings and they are very important to me.

Cman, I'm very sorry to hear about your father.[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_cry.gif[/img][img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_cry.gif[/img][img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_cry.gif[/img]

I understand completly how you feel as I lost my father to cancer in 1989.

I was only 21 at the time and there has not been a day that has gone by since then I don't think about him.

What helped me through it is knowing that where he is now is really a "restfull" place where there is no pain.

You have memories of him that will always be there for you.

Again, sorry about your father.


Your friend, DynoTom.
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Having young parents(61/66) I can't come close to understanding your pain, you have my sympathy nonetheless. My mom has asked me, since I'm the oldest, to see that her rings are buried with her. I'm going to place them on a gold chain around her neck at the cemetary & wait until the's interned to be sure.[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_cry.gif[/img]
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It's hard to say good bye.[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_frown.gif[/img] I dread the day when my mom or dad passes on. Dad's survived bladder cancer two years now and has had two heart attacks. Mom's in great health so far. My prayers are with you and your family.
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Sorry for your loss. My dad passed away about 7 years ago, 72 years old, no frail little guy but a stocky type. He knew he had cancer for the last year or so. Anyhow I have a brief talk with him almost every morning since he passed away and tell him hows it going...about his grandson and so on, know what I mean? It works great for me. Once again sorry for your loss and I wish you the best dealing with it.

Sorry for your loss. Keep your head up.
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I am saddened by the loss of your Dad, Cman.

I agree with Jimmy about I hope that my daughter would keep my personal belongings and even share them with my grandchildren when the time is right.

Reading your post brought back memmories of the day my Dad passed away.

I knew that day I stepped into a part of my life that would never be the same as it once was.

As I look back I do not know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, I just know it is different without him.

Sometimes the sadness in my life has allowed me to grow and become stronger down the road.

I hope that happens with you and your family as well.

You are definately in my thoughts.

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