Things Only A Cop Would Say

Just how big were those two beers?

Your life is not my fault.

The handcuffs are tight because they are new. They will stretch out after you wear them awhile.

If you take your hands off the car, I will make your birth certificate a worthless document.

If you run, you will only go to jail tired.

Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

So, you do not know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on your ticket, huh?

Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I do not think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM the shift supervisor?

Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I am warning you not to do that again or I will give you ANOTHER ticket.

The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

Fair?! You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey-poop.

No Sir, we do not have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we are allowed to write as many tickets as we want.

I know, I know, your kid is an honor student at the juvenile detention center.

I am glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a good friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.

No, I do not think that they should use the electric chair; I think they need to use electric BLEACHERS!

Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and I get the big screen television.

Life is tough; it is tougher when you are stupid.

In God we trust; all other are suspects.

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Don't forget:

Oh, you pay my salary? You're just the guy I want to talk to...I need a raise!
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Something I would say to a cop>>>>"Im going to kill you and your whole family".[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_mad.gif[/img]

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On 2003-10-21 21:53, Stanley Superior wrote:
Something I would say to a cop>>>>"Im going to kill you and your whole family".[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_mad.gif[/img]
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I thought you would say that to a California Liberal that owns an FE powered anything[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img][img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_spin.gif[/img][img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
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Last week I was stopped by a cop... After telling me to slow down and checking my papers he proceeded to ask me "What year is this? A '63?" Now as you all know a '63 Galaxie looks nothing at all like a '67 Galaxie... But we can excuse him from that as he was driving some sissy looking Chevy and not a Crown Vic. The real thing that gets me is that he took my papers and obviously didn't look at them as it says '67 Galaxie on both the insurance and registration... Well, the insurance company spells it "Galaxy", but that's another issue.

Ironically this morning around 0300 I was stopped at nearly the same spot in my '86 Prelude (needed an econo-box) and given a ticket for 62 in a 50. I am positive I was not doing more than a couple MPH over the limit, and most of the time I was at or below. I didn't want to deal with cops so I made a point of obeying the limit, though honestly I expected to be stopped for 'suspicious behavior'... That is to say obeying the speed limit.

What I meant to say to stanley was, does your parole officer know that you are making those kind of statements? In fact, I think that I arrested you a couple of times.[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]

Glad my truck is no longer my daily driver....[img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_cool.gif[/img] Was too low, too loud, no headlights(behind the phantom grill), no tail lights(LED bars), tint too dark.... But this what I say at work too. "Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I do not think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM the shift supervisor?"